they say

They say that I do not think enough, I do not think before I speak. That I do not appreciate enough, I don't see what's behind their actions, what's behind their words. That I do not care enough, that I don't listen enough.

Sometimes, it's not even about not doing it enough, sometimes they say that I don't do it. Period.

My question nowadays has only been...when will I ever be enough? When will I ever just be what you want?

And most importantly, when will I be able to become who I will be?

holds

i went on an impromptu shopping trip today after work and for once in a very long time, i found items that were on my to-get slash shopping hunt list that i haven't been able to find in a long time. and i also walked out of the mall with nothing!

here are a list of things that i found:

Forever 21: Blazers $29.90

comes in ivory, black, mustard, amber, pink and teal
personally a fan of the ivory and amber (light pink)

Garage: Jeggings $39.90

the one that i have on hold is a dark red, maroon-like. the only thing really holding me back from this is its comparison to the H&M ones i found (how it's low rise, really stretchy, and from a brand that i don't usually buy pants from) 

H&M: Pants $29.95 

so much cheaper, but very much high rise and a much stiffer fabric

H&M: White blouses (I only found the top one but the website has so many other options that look alike and are slightly cheaper) 

vs 

they pretty much look identical to me...besides the button detailing. 

anyway, the blouse and the pants are all on hold for me until tomorrow so i have to decide. it's still coming up to a grand total of about $80, without any blazer. 

BUT it's also my birthday on saturday so maybe it'll be my gift to myself.

who am i kidding. one of my girl friends texted me saying, "do you NEED them?" 

Of course not. Not really. Maybe. Perhaps. 

shoe-aholic

i am now officially...a shoeaholic.

not that i never was that, but i can fairly say that after this past month, i have bought 4 pairs of shoes, 3 of which were heels and all were from naturalizer.

why naturalizer? because they fit my feet so amazingly well. it's like when you find the one store that sells clothes that just flatter your body shape and hug your curves the right way. it's like that now, but for my feet.

anyway, i guess i should really get it out there. the first things that were probably my biggest shoe purchase and courtesy of my parents (so technically, i didn't buy them) were my new birks:

i am a serious fan and have been very hesitant for years. one big reason: price. it never made sense to me to pay more than $50 on a pair of shoes that i knew would only last my feet a couple of seasons. birks have been popular for years now and although i'm really not into the Gizeh look (the one t-shape kind), i felt like this could make up for the natural bulky look of birkenstocks. i have almost successfully molded them to my feet's shapes and desires and until then, it's still a small pain to break them in. 

the next three are from naturalizer. i have no regret, no shame and no remorse. they all fit wonderfully, i've worn the black ones already and they lasted a night of standing at this club (i was there for an event, okay)